The opening words
Priest, Fr Brown (for it is he): I'm sorry, but the bishop's late. He missed the train. People: The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it. Priest: The bishop comes from Birmingham... People: By way of Beachy Head.

Naught for your comfort: the bishop was last seen here.
Reading from Holy Scripture
John 2:1-11, the story
of the turning of water into wine.
The prayers
Priest: We pray for the canonization of St Gilbert. People: It has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried. Priest: We shall now have a moment of silent prayer. Deacon: The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. Priest: Ssshhh!

A subject for prayer and contemplation.
Priest: It isn't that they can't see the solution... People: It is that they can't see the problem. Priest: If a thing is worth doing... People: It is worth doing badly. Priest: A dead thing can go with the stream... People: But only a living thing can go against it.The Dismissal
Priest: The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies... People: Probably because they are generally the same people. Priest: Will someone take me to a pub? People: Good idea!

Our soon-to-be patron saint with his own Luvvly (Frances) Blogg.
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